The 'Idiot Box' Diaries

I finally managed to listen to the Bill Hicks – Rant in E minor collection that had been sent to me months ago. The man is quite brilliant as I was told. He is by far the best stand up act I have ever come across. For once the guy who is trying to make you laugh doesn’t sound like a cheap joker but a smart know it all, and he does make you laugh. If not, you are just a dumbass. Like Bill says, your third eye needs some squeaking. He is loud, he is rude and obnoxious till the point of screaming in your ear. But he is sharp and he is funny! Yes he sure is as he takes a dig at everything ranging from abortions to religion. His sarcasm is great of course, he excels at satire but the best part about him is he is straight forward and to the point. He doesn’t mince words and he doesn’t care about being politically correct. He speaks his mind, is anti-establishment and loves the free and excessive use of expletives. Oh and he is a shroom lover too and seems life a pro-drug activist, all the more reason to like him.

Apart from this, I have been watching a lot of television these days due to excess of time at my disposal and a woeful shortage of productive activities. The so called idiot box has kept me good company and so I shall try and defend my companion against this demeaning alias given to it. Why is it called the ‘idiot box’? Is it because it shows idiotic stuff? Well, it depends on what you watch on it and everyone would agree that not all the stuff shown on it is idiotic. The man surfeth the channels so if you are defaming my dear companion for this reason, most likely you are an idiot yourself who ends up watching idiotic shows.

But on the other hand, if your contention is more on the lines of my Dad’s then maybe you are safe. Here’s what my old man has to say, “It’s just a box and you people stare at it like idiots. Those people make money, you just waste time”. Hmm, quite captivating Dad but then I’m guessing you don’t know what terms like ‘fun’, ‘entertainment’ and ‘recreation’ actually mean. Sometimes I wonder if you were ever a kid yourself, but then I guess that’s what most kids like me wonder as well. Anyway, the point being that a normal human being requires some amount of entertainment to humor himself and his fancies. Some people do it through sports, some through music and most do it by watching TV so what’s the big deal? It’s not a waste of time, I think of it as meaningful time spent for the betterment of my character by the satiation of my hunger for ‘fun’.

So it’s settled then, if any of you have any more reasons to call my dear friend an ‘idiot box’ kindly let me know and we can indulge in a healthy debate, read I pwn your puny ass. Good day!

Coming back to my personal TV watching habits. I have been watching a lot of movies on the TV recently since my laptop is fucked up as usual and my desktop refuses to install a DVD file playing software. All this when I have around 20 good movies waiting to be watched.

Sigh, movies, movies everywhere but not a comp to play…

Movies, movies everywhere if only there was a way.

Bleh, I know…lame. So yeah, I have been watching movies on the TV like I said and due to that I only manage to watch them in bits due to lack of a ‘pause’ feature and my incessant channel surfing habits. But there were 5 movies which I managed to watch more or less of in the near past.

First was 50 First Dates, a typical Adam Sandler comedy with Rob Schneider thrown in as usual. But hey, I like these and the kind of characters that Sandler plays in such movies. Little Nicky, Billy Madison, Big Daddy and some more which I don’t remember.

Oh and this one has Drew Barrymore too. It’s a good movie to kill time and especially if you are with your chicka. I guess they would love the happy ending which defied all norms and logic. But yeah, it was a good ending an extremely positive one, the kinds which show how love triumphs over all obstacles and how the couples live happily ever after. Apart from the ending the ‘first dates’ were well scripted and had the desired endearing effect. It was really entertaining to watch the bumbling hero woo his chick day after day from scratch. The movie got quite gooey in some parts, the directors probably intended to make these scenes romantic. Hmm, well they do a decent job I guess. Overall, a good movie to watch for anyone wanting to get their spirits high.

The second movie which I saw was Secret Window, now I had been planning to watch this one since a long time and I finally was able to thanks to Zee Studio. Johnny Depp is as brilliant as ever as the eccentric and lonely writer. Yes, I say it again, this man is COOL!!! The plot starts off well and the suspense kicks in and builds up. Sadly, the storyline tends to falter towards the second half and after having seen a lot of ‘psycho-split personality’ kinda movies in the past, it seemed quite predictable to me. I knew what was coming and I wasn’t wrong. Nevertheless, a must watch for any Depp fan and I’m sure any self-respecting movie-buff is one at some level.

And then the third movie was none other than the greatly over hyped Singh is King. I had heard it had been a huge hit and that it was brilliant and as funny as Namaste London. All I would say is that the only probable reason for this would be the huge Sikh population spread all over the world. There can be no other reason for the success of this one. Apart from some funny scenes the movie is painstakingly long, clichéd, and boring. The only reason why you might want to watch this one is to ogle at Katrina Kaif. That or maybe you just want to laugh your head off at the dozens of ridiculous looking fake sardars prancing around the camera. The only thing which I liked about it was a particular dialogue which was repeated over and over by the great Singh himself. “Main toh sach bolta hoon, bas acchi lag jati hain” which is a reply to any other character who compliments him by saying, “Baatien acchi kar lete ho”. Like I said, lots of instances in the movie where this dialogue is parroted. Bleh!

The next movie to talk about Aviator. Another movie I had been planning to watch since ages and one about which I wrote a movie review for a History course. Of course that was a scam. Its amazing how Leonardo Dicaprio has come a long way from his Titanic days. All his recent performances that I have watched have been absolutely brilliant, Blood Diamond and The Departed to be precise. He is brilliant as Howard Hughes too. The movie gives a great insight into the life of the aviation and movie baron, and also the eccentricity and paranoia of his later years. Aviator is one of those movies which fill you up with ambition and make you crave for money and power. It must be brilliant, the exhilaration of flying and watching the skies around you from the cockpit. For once I felt mildly jealous of all my pilot friends. After the movie I went to my balcony for a smoke. It was a picturesque and picture perfect. Brilliant blue sky and the shining Sun playing around with the pure white clouds. A few eagles roamed around and the weather was pleasant too. Up there it felt like a different world altogether and then I thought about the seas, they would probably ignite similar feelings too. And so I thought to myself that if I ever manage to make enough money, I would have my own plane and yacht. Haha, but soon the after effect of Aviator mellowed down and I got back to reality. Back in a more practical frame of mind I convinced myself that even if I’m not able to do this its ok, but yeah if I do manage it would be brilliant. Sigh…

And now last and definitely not the least, Kill Bill (Volume II). Now I had seen Volume I ages ago as a kid. I faintly recall that I had loved the movie just like any of my friends. But I’m guessing at that time I just loved it for the over the top fighting/slashing scenes. However, now I can appreciate the true story of the Bride. The climax is one of the best I have seen in recent times. Its just brilliant, and after their heart to heart you really can’t justify Bill being a villain. No, he was like he said, just a murdering bastard. That’s all. Two particular scenes which stood out. Uma Thurman trying to get out of the coffin, brilliantly captured and unbelievingly realistic. The other scene is the eyeball squishing one. Just shocking, utterly shocking and brilliant too! Now you know why Quentin Tarantino is counted as one of the best directors in the business. Oh and for once Uma Thurman manages to look hot, in some scenes of course. Oh and I dunno about you folks but I thought Daryl Hannah was way more stunning. Hehe, each to his own.

And then apart from these 5 and loads of other incomplete movies there was one which stood out. A musical called Chicago, unfortunately I could just see around half an hour of this one but it was brilliant. An ideal musical with extravagant set ups and flamboyant characters, it was brilliant. Especially the courtroom scene, Mr. Gere take a bow! Gotta watch this one for sure.

Now that I’m done with movies, I come to reality shows. Roadies is the one that I have been regularly watching and which actually interests me. Like I said, the brutal auditions are too good to be missed. Ideal for those who like their shows served hot with a helping of sadism. Sadly, the auditions are over now and so is all the real drama. After this the show usually gets boring and so intend to knock this one off of my ‘regulars’ list soon. Then there is Indian Idol which is as pissing off as ever with idiots like Anu Mallik scolding poor unsuspecting kids for not being ‘original’ enough. The humor factor lies in watching Sonali Bendre trying to judge people sing and Kailash Kher trying to converse in English. The only decent judge there is Javed Akhtar as usual. Apart from that all the idiotic and fake contestants and the brainwashing of millions is a pain to watch. But hey, there is this kid called Remo who continues to hang on to the final list even though the ‘esteemed’ judges predict his eviction week after week. Go for it boy, you have my vote, Hehe!

Then there is this another idiotic show called Nach Baliye which I happen to watch on regular occasions thanks to my Mum. Someone please explain to me what Arjun Rampal is doing in a dance show, aren’t expressions supposed to be a vital part of dance forms? Sigh, I guess I would never understand these reality shows and their choice of judges. All he does is distribute ‘lucky bands’ since he seems to have a never-ending supply of those. The show is cheesy and anyone can see through the fake drama and controversies which are brought up from time to time to gain the elusive TRPs. I wonder why they even bother, the general population is stupid enough to watch it anyway even if they don’t go for all these antics. Then there’s Big Boss which I thankfully haven’t managed to watch so far. Though I did land up at the original firang show, Big Brother while channel surfing the other day. This one was boring in itself, I wonder how the desi counterpart actually is.

Oh and Contender is back, this time in the kick boxing format. But it has lost its original charm as the show just doesn’t seem that interesting any more. It just can’t be the lack of Sly and Sugar Ray, please tell me it’s not that. Please! One decent firang reality show that I did come across was Survivor-Gabon. An old physics teacher called Bob is nailing this one and I’m glad he is since he is easily my favorite character on that show. He is strong, he is brainy, he is clever and he’s the oldest in the show. I plan to follow this one.

Oh and then moving on to soaps, I have been watching random Hindi ones at dinnertime with Mom. Shows which have never-ending names which keep you guessing like Who rehne wali mehlon ki, Kis desh mein hai Dil mera and many more. I tend to forget, I’m human after all. All these shows have a more or less similar theme. Lots of family drama with a few evil characters thrown in who are in it for their vested interests, be it the family wealth or the affections of the protagonists. A big YAWN to all you fucks who make these shows!

As for their English counterparts, apart from Friends and Seinfeld re-runs I came across this show called House about a medical expert and his team of interns who solve medical mysteries one after the other. Kal Penn’s there, maybe its good. And then I finally managed to watch the Sex and the City after having read and seen all those parodies on MAD magazine and MAD TV respectively. The show isn’t that bad, it seems ok for time kill, I shall watch some more and decide. Oh and I’m still waiting for the sports channels, I’m yet to call those TATA motherfuckers. Argh!

Oh and apart from all these things on TV I watch a lot of other things as well. Like the busy people going about their lives on the street below from my distant balcony. The numerous strange faces and lives running around Mehrauli in their quest for survival as I walk past them. And then some more on the bus as I travel with them from time to time. These things give me far more insight and perspective than all the things I watch on TV put together, but that is sometimes. On other days I just don’t care as I go on about my own way. But yeah, I have to admit that real life and real characters are far more interesting than the ones on the so called ‘reality shows’. And I’m glad it is so, otherwise life would be drab and I would have just become a full-fledged couch potato long time back. Hmm, which of course doesn’t sound like a bad idea even now.

Hehe, I’m loving it. Pa ra pa pa pa paaaa!

Meeting Old friends...Contd.

My mum woke me up early today, and by early I mean around 11am. My brother was supposed to go for one of those pseudo-Buddhist, I’m sorry neo-Buddhist kind of meetings of which even I had been a part of in the distant past. I was supposed to walk him till a nearby house from where he would be taken to the actual venue. And so I woke up grudgingly and complied. A 15 minute walk with my torn chappals was enough to make my feet sore and thus I was quite grumpy by the time I was back home. And then I was told I was supposed to bring him back as well, my anger levels went up of course but then I didn’t say much. I couldn’t since such menial jobs were the least I could do to help around the house. And so two hours later, I found myself walking again, this time in my Dad’s chappals which were three sizes smaller and hence no better. I was cursing the whole of the neo-Buddhist cult while puffing on my cigarette as I walked. Suddenly I noticed my brother 10 yards away from me hopping towards my direction. I quickly tore out the cherry behind my back, maybe I should have just thrown the stick away because it was too late. He was already right in front of me and by now quite curious about what I was hiding behind my back. He was expecting a pack of chips, or maybe a chocolate, but the pest that he is he instantaneously found out that it was neither. He had caught me red-handed and was quite kicked about the revelation that he would throw up to Mom. It didn’t matter, they already knew I thought to myself but the that wasn’t the problem. It would have been ok if my parents had found me after all it was just a cigarette not a joint. The only person I didn’t want to be caught smoking by was my brother and finally I had failed. Sigh, I may not be an ideal brother but I really wanted to keep this habit from him. How would he react now that he knows there are two nicotine addicts in the family? Would this compel him to try it himself? I don’t want him to and so I was a bit disturbed. But then as we reached home I convinced myself that it didn’t matter. I did not start smoking because my Dad does so, in fact I used to hate it for the same reason as a kid. My brother had ratted on me as expected and was quite disappointed by the lack of interest shown by my parents. Hah, the little runt, I really hope he grows up soon and that he doesn’t stray. I just hope… I then settled down on the couch and wasted some good amount of time thanks to the TV, my constant companion these days. I watched Corpse Bride and Om Shanti Om in bits. The former increases my respect for Tim Burton as a director as he again shows that good visuals/cinematography can make or break a movie. The story didn’t seem that great or anything but in the end it seemed like a good movie for a one time watch and I love musicals anyway. Gotta watch this one again and completely too. As for OSO, it is a grand Bollywood extravaganza with loads of stars dancing around and loads of typical Hindi movie drama, almost satirical to an extent. It has some brilliant scenes like a drunk SRK and delivering an award-acceptance speech in front of his dear friend and some urchins. Oh and the actual Filmfare awards ceremony bit is also quite good as it seems real and has some good humor in it. And then there is Deepika Padukone of course, what a figure. But apart from that there isn’t much to talk about and the movie stretches on needlessly till the time you stop caring about the plot anymore. Maybe that’s what the makers wanted. Whatever, I had lost my interest and so I didn’t care when I had to leave at some point of time to meet Amit, a classmate of mine. He had said he would come down to meet me and so another chapter added to the ‘meeting old friends’ theme. He had arrived at around 5pm as promised. Amit and I, along with Vibhuti had shared some good memories in the last year of school. After that we lost touch especially over the last year and so to be honest I had almost forgotten about Amit. But now I looked forward to catching up with him. After having dropped an year like me, he is now a part of Venky as a second year. I walked out to greet him. He was still the same, a simple looking, happy go lucky guy with a heart of gold. He was as genuine as ever and I know I have been using this word to describe everyone lately but I guess that’s how they are. After all they are my good friends and I give that status to only deserving people, and yeah I’m in a good mood these days. Anyway we reached my room and the usual ‘catching up’ routine started and then some reminiscence trips. He told me he follows my blog and that he really likes it. He also mentioned my farewell post and that he understands why I quit law school. I was surprised, I hadn’t expected any of my Delhi friends to really understand this. Was he just saying it as formality? I rebuffed the thought at very next moment because the statement seemed quite genuine coming from him. I guess Amit really could understand. We were both quite alike, him and I. Middle class kids with middle sized dreams, and free spirited to go. He then went on to tell me about how he had similar thoughts after reading my posts about family, friends and personal aspirations. All doubt vanished, yes my friend was not bluffing. He did know what I was talking about and from that moment he had won me over and I restored him to my inner circle in my mind. After that we had the usual conversation about music, movies, girls and college. I gave him some good videos and some of my writings which he had asked for. We fucked around with the guitar a bit on the terrace till it was finally time for him to leave. I saw him off. Another old friend was back, another day well spent. The times they sure are changing, and for once they seem to be getting better. Dilli oye Dilli, dilwalon ki Dilli…Haha!

You said it, Life sure is funny!

Life is funny, it really is. I’m typing this on my ancient 64 RAM Compaq desktop again. The one that had been lying defunct ever since I had purchased my laptop, the TOSHIBA which is lying safely in its bag on my old table. Its battery has finally given up and it needs servicing, again. Yes, life sure is funny but I don’t find myself laughing. I rather laugh at the so called reality shows which I mindlessly watch these days. I wish my own real life was as funny, but then I would be on TV not here in my room typing short anecdotes and other bullshit. I made a few phone calls today, both local and STD ones. Felt good talking to my so called friends. Apparently Santa was back, and for once he was on time, bang on time, December 25th, what else? And all the madness associated with his visits are back, apparently so are the good times. But I don’t find myself yearning to be back there on the Himalya terrace with the rest of the folks. Strange, quite strange, maybe I have changed or maybe its just my mind assuring me owing to the implausible nature of me actually being there. Whatever it is, I feel content here leading my uneventful but peaceful life. I have nothing to worry about, no project submissions, no assignments, no teachers, no raids, no nothing. My friends are doing good back there, that makes me happy. So I guess everything is fine, yep like I said, life sure is funny. I finally met up with old friends like I had planned to, and some more that I hadn’t planned. The buggers were doing good, and some of them really good. They give me an assurance about my own life, that sense of camaraderie has returned. They are assets to me now, promising me a good time, a good ear and some help anytime I want. I managed to get my tuner and pay off my debt thanks to Tush, it was great to meet him again. Redbeard was there too, another one from my inner circle here. We just had to have a ritualistic J, and thankfully we did. It was good to be with them again, all the reminiscence part too, till Tush had to leave for Manali. Yeah, that bastard is living it up these days, I guess he deserves it and I feel happy for him. And talking about successful old pals, I then got a call from Manyu, my only non-BPO friend from my Noida days. He is now a CA and he’s doing good. A flat at Dwarka, independent life, blah blah. But then I always knew he would be fine, but in fact he was now better or so it seemed. So yeah, I decided to pay him a visit and Redbeard decided to come along. On the way we picked up another friend of his, a naïve and smiling bugger called Shiv. Now this chap had been a NLS aspirant himself and he was scandalized when I told him I had quit the same institution which he had dreamt about till he finally settled his restless ass at DU. I wish I could explain it to him, but then he won’t understand and so I didn’t bother. I just smiled at him and threw a one liner or something at him, I’m not sure. We reached the Metro station, parked the car and after some discussion I was made the hero who would make it past the security. Thankfully, I made it through with no hassles and then I was on the Metro after what felt like ages. The Metro is actually something that makes me proud of Delhi, its just brilliant! And in the aerial blue line train, I entered Dwarka for the first time in my life. I saw it from a position where it appeared exactly like what it is, a residential sanctuary for the working class people of the capital. Flats all around, and more being built, everywhere. Yet it was quaint and peaceful, and maybe eerie. I don’t know, I would pick the hustle-bustle and familiarity of Mehrauli any day and that’s saying something! We finally reached our destination and my eyes fell upon Manyu waiting for us on his bike since his car was out of service or something. He still seemed the same, except for the extra kilos that he had gained. I guess all the money and alcohol had taken their toll, but he seemed happy. And within a few minutes, I found myself sharing a cigarette with him on his balcony as we waited for Redbeard and Shiv to reach by their rickshaw. And so we talked, our man was doing good in the socially accepted parameters. Yes, he was doing great. Young employee award, a fat bank balance, imported booze, designer suits and the works. And then he told me about his life before this and I was quite shocked. In fact, if it was someone else I probably wouldn’t have believed it. But then, he had given that all up now. He was leading a politically correct life now. A hectic corporate life, good alcohol to keep him company at nights and…and nothing else! Yeah, I wish there was more to write about, but like he said there was nothing more. Life had become predictable and boring. Now, I couldn’t empathize for sure, but nor could I sympathize with him, it was hard to do that with my eyes roving around his expensive wardrobe, but deep down I felt happy for myself and yet again I was reassured that I had made the right decision, I guess I could explain my actions to Shiv now. Not that it matters. The 2 buggers arrived soon and then the ‘party’ began. Due to lack of in hand cash, we were reduced to drinking rum like Manyu said. Haha, the bugger had come a long way from our diluted days. Felt weird to be drinking in proper glasses instead of a water bottle, and then all the side works like Soda, munchies and shite. It felt weird but good. And then it was realized that Manyu was from DPS and Shiv from Modern, how’s that important you might say? Well, its not for most of us but ask any other buggers from these institutions and you would know what I mean, in fact just go check out some Facebook communities if you are on it. Anyway we made merry for sometime and then it was time for us to leave but Manyu wouldn’t allow his dear friend to leave would he? The one he was meeting after almost 2 years and who had no transport of his own. So yeah, I complied and we saw off Redbeard and Shiv to the gate. We returned, and so did all the reminiscing and talks about life. He said he had done it all and now he had changed. We all had changed and yes, he had definitely changed as I had observed so far. He had become far more money-oriented from what he was, he was now boisterous and I daresay a bit of a show off as well. But then I guess all that money and the business world did that to him. I guess it was a part and parcel of growing up for him. But even with all this, he still remained a genuinely good guy at heart who would do anything for his friends. I got to know this over the course of the night and it reassured me about him. He is now another asset in my circle of friends. We soon got some more booze, this time some DSP Black, thanks to his highly efficient butler and we decided to watch Rocker while getting ourselves drunk as part of our Christmas binge. It was a good movie for time kill about an over aged rocker and about following you dreams and the usual ‘feel good Hollywood’ routine but it got me thinking. We moved out to the balcony with all the drinks and food and then we got back to talking again. CA had been his dream and now that he had got it and was successful I would have expected him to be over the top, but he wasn’t. Like he said, there wasn’t much left to life as of now. And so in that drunken state I asked him the question which had been waiting to ask him and one that I ask often to myself. “Are you happy?” He didn’t know and I think he said yes. Good for him, he then told me about his big plans for the future. That was reassuring. He had achieved his dream job and he was minting money and everything looks bright for the future. On the flipside, he is now an alcoholic consuming around a liter or two of various spirits and looks like a flabby guy who has probably never heard of sports. He used to be the basketball captain back in his school days, but then again he is happy and that’s all that matters. Which again makes me say to myself, life sure is funny! As for me, a free spirited and lazy soul it didn’t matter much. Of course, money feels good but nah I prefer my way. And with these thoughts I laid myself to rest. Manyu woke me up 4 hours later, he was getting ready for office. I got up and made myself a bit presentable and headed to the breakfast table. His flat mates were there too, but they all looked much older. They were like a perfect contrast in their designer suits to my dirty ragged jeans and sweater as I joined them for breakfast but somehow it made me feel even prouder of myself than I usually am. Haha, I can be such a prick. And as I was about to bid goodbye to Manyu he handed his I-pod to back up my laptop data, yes I like friends who become assets. Hah, with that I lit up a cigarette and made my way to the nearby bus stop. Manyu and co. made their way to their car. All my various pockets were full with gadgets and what not and as I saw bus number 764 slowing down ahead of me, I was a bit apprehensive. To call it crowded, would be an understatement. I shifted my wallet from my back pocket to a safer one inside my jacket and pushed my self in. Life was coming a full circle again as I was squished between an old fat uncle and a bony college student. It had been ages since I had had the ‘true-blue Delhi bus experience’ and I rued it for the first 15 minutes or so. But then as I finally settled myself in a corner of human walls and as the sense of inertia set in, I was fine. All the worldly conversations around me, and all the strangers putting up with each other and their various smells; and mine and their close proximity to each other was strangely enlightening. These people had so much to worry about, and yet they had the heart to laugh at something inane going on, on the road. Their lives were so incomplete and yet they made the most out of it. And then the random strangers sharing intimate details about their lives to each other. And they were happy with me being a distant observer as I made no effort to participate in their conversations but smiled back when I did. If I was ever asked to describe humanity by someone, I would probably show them a video recording of this scene, if I had one. But I don’t, and it doesn’t matter and there’s a lot more that I have to see, experience and understand. I finally got down at another bus station to take the next bus home. I suddenly felt a lot more content in life and I realized how fortunate I was to be a part of the better half of the population of this country. I felt grateful to a lot of people and things which I usually overlook. I finally reached home to find the door locked and a call later I found out that I would have to wait for an hour when my brother arrives from school. Great, I climbed up the stairs to the terrace and was greeted to a sight of sunbathing aunties and some of the members of what I call the ‘Kishengarh Kids’. Ok, make that ‘Kameenay Kishengarh Kids’, and mind you my brother is part of this gang of rowdies. Sigh, someday I hope I can enlighten him and bring him a notch or two. As for now, this sight made my anger go up even more and I finally went back to my corner on the terrace. It was quite dirty which means no one comes here even now. I guess I could reclaim my territory and so I made myself comfortable and lied down even as I noticed that all the aunties had garnered a sudden interest in me. They apparently had no clue who I was and so they were discussing the matter with great concern. A shabby, disheveled and young guy napping on their apartment terrace was something they aren’t used to I guess. I put on my shades and earphones and decided to sober trip on the clouds. Dylan always sounds great in solitude, until a small little runt came to me. He must have been around 3 or 4. I took off my earphones, a bit surprised at the intrusion. And then in the usual aggressive jat-like manner the kid asked me, “Aap kaaunnnhh hoo?” Whoa, a little runt asking me who I was in my own building. I took off my shades and tried putting up my scariest face, and I guess I had been successful as the kid sauntered back to the circle of aunties. Haha, now that would give them something more to talk about. I was now quite amused, I decided to have some more fun and lit up a cigarette and went back to my earlier reclined position. Now, the aunties were even more concerned, I could hear it all, these ladies didn’t even bother to keep it low, probably they wanted me to over hear all that. I knew it was just a matter of time before one of them would gather the courage to come over and ask me about my identity. To which I would nonchalantly reply with my flat number and they would then shut up. Hehe, that would be fun. I was just waiting for that when a new lady entered the circle. She was instantly told about the shady character lazing off at the other corner of the terrace. To which she calmly replied and told them that I was Ayush’s brother. And then they all gasped and went on another trip about how they didn’t know that Ayush had a brother and stuff like that. Stupid lady had spoilt all the fun and also she had given me a new identity, ‘Ayush ka Bhai’. Argh, I put my earphones back on and dozed off in the brilliant sunlight till the great Ayush finally arrived and woke me up. Yep, you said it, life is funny! And so is the whole driving debate that has resurfaced in my family. Since the family car has been lying unused since ages, they have again started pestering me to learn driving. Sigh, should I? I prefer walking and public transport. Moreover, there are too many hassles to it. Learn to drive, and then get a license which is a cumbersome process in itself. Of only it ended here, but it does not. I know that as I see hundreds of folks being pulled over each day and being challaned for something or the other, and then we have maintenance issues and blah blah. But maybe I just might do it, it might come handy sometimes, it is bound to. And plus, it would finally take this monkey off my back. And so yet again, I come back to the theme of today. Life is funny, only if it was funnier!

Keeping it Clean, not Green!

It’s been some time since I arrived in Delhi, maybe a week, I’m not exactly sure. Ever since last year, time has stopped being a crucial factor for me, and that’s how I like it. I’m having fun, in an altogether different way of course. I wake up anytime I want to a healthy meal and then I have a TV set all to myself. I have been watching a lot of reality shows since they seem to be the only decent things to watch these days and I run into one at any point of time on any channel. Survivor is good and so are some other random shows. Plus, all those idiotic characters on Roadies and Indian Idol auditions do give my ego a huge boost, so yeah I like them. Apart from that I have been watching some movies. Good old Bollywood has gripped me again, and I find myself laughing at the inanity at regular intervals. On the flipside it’s sad to know how movies like Rock On attain that cult status. Even sadder is the fact that most of the people who have been raving about Gajhini have never even heard of Memento. And then all the mania over shows like Roadies, Big Boss and their ilk. Sigh, my generation, I hope we manage to open our eyes soon enough. Anyway coming back to my routine; HBO, Zee Studio and Star Movies keep me occupied sometimes. Unfortunately, my TATA connection doesn’t have any sports channels as of now. That’s something which needs to be taken care of. After all those irritating times in the common room, I alongwith a particular friend of mine had always dreamed of watching a football match in solitude. I’m still waiting for that opportunity. And finally, I have been inadvertently watching some of those saas-bahu soaps during dinner time with my Mum and I can’t help but ask her about the plot lines from time to time. Well, if I’m watching them, I might as well know what is going on. And I assure you, none of you are missing out on much, except for some retarded drama which is needlessly stretched on for years, just so that these bastards can then make a silver jubilee episode or something. After that comes the golden jubilee episode of course, and so on. Anyway apart from the idiot box and the re-initiation of proper dietary habits, there has been a lot of family bonding going on. These days I feel no inclination to meet anyone and so the only real people I talk to are my family members. I have bought a shiny black, Hobner acoustic guitar for company which I have tentatively named The Nigga for old times’ sake and its colour. As for The Basstardo, I have been trying to teach my brother its basics. He is a fast learner but a prick as well. He is as obnoxious as ever and remains a certified pest. But yeah, I think I love him...I think. Parents seem pretty cool as well, and genuinely happy for a change. Helped Dad make a presentation last and for once I did not lose my cool. And today he told me that it was much appreciated, there was a sense of pride in his voice and he felt genuinely happy. Somehow, for the past 2-3 years their technical ineptitude has always been the primary reason for us spending time together. I guess I should change that now, now that I have lost my unnecessary rebellious streak. But then, that phase was important too. All that resentment helped me in my path to self-discovery. Come to think of it, I do feel sad for my parents as I listen to my Mum in the kitchen at 5:30am. What am I doing at this hour? Well, I was just about to retire for the night after my last smoke. But my parents? Sigh, their whole world revolves around their kids, jobs and financial matters, in that order. It’s sad how they let situations and time run their life, but then I guess they do not have the liberty of being totally idle like me and they do not think the way I do. Maybe it’s good for them, but yeah after all these thoughts I do feel all my resentment vanishing away. And all those harmless and trivial lies do ring up some guilt now. Yes, I should make them happy, they do deserve it! The early morning paper; that was something I thought I would start reading again after giving up the habit at law school. But now I think I was better off without it. It’s like a strong dose of depressants as soon as you wake up. War possibilities with Pakistan, more bomb threats, recession woes, more suicides, more rapes...Sigh, I’m better off leading an ignorant and self-centred life. I think I shall just limit my newspaper reading to the highly entertaining and dumb Delhi Times. Oh and I have been clean so far, and I intend to remain so. I feel immense pleasure and pride when I tell myself that I have no addictions as of now. Even the game I’m playing currently, Governor of Poker, I just play it for fun and nowhere like the way I used to play GTA. I’m gonna meet my friends soon, I have to. But I don’t particularly look forward to that apart from the customary meetings. I wish I had a smaller social circle, would have been far less obligations but then I cannot complain. And I don’t miss any people, I just think about them sometimes. You must understand that they are both quite different from one another. I live on just 5 cigarettes a day, maybe less and soon I might quit that as well since I know they are just plain addictive, that and pointless! And I don’t intend to quit just for the heck of it or because it’s bad for my health or anything, just that I don’t want to do it anymore. I like this feeling of being clean; I cannot have any ‘bad’ thoughts try as I might. No violent tendencies, no craving for intoxicants and no adulterous swings. Which makes me feel sad for some of my companions, I wish they would understand that all these things are superficial but then I guess they are happy that way and that’s all that matters for now. I just hope that realization strikes someday, before it’s too late. Oh, and now I can understand how Keith Richards might have felt like when he quit drugs. Of course, in my case the reason is not that all these things have stopped hitting me, just that all these things do not interest me anymore. The best part is that this sudden sobriety hasn’t stopped my creative flow; rather it seems to have enhanced it. New ideas seem to pop out of nowhere and somehow I have got some of my old determination back as I’m trying to conclude the half-ideas I already had and pen down new ones. I’m working on a new script right now and trying to complete a few incomplete poems from before. Of course, I’m still a bit lazy so this process is taking more time that it should but then like I said time does not rule me. For a change I actually feel like completing things which I have begun. So yeah, I’m happy. I know there’s a lot to do, but for once I feel as if I can. I guess you don’t need drugs for creativity; all you need is some peace and isolation. And the cold quiet nights of Mehrauli provide me ample doses of that. Which brings me to this city; I have fallen in love with it again. Bangalore is past now, the present is Delhi and I have no issues about that. In fact, make it Dilli since I realize that the saying ‘Dilwalon ki Dilli’ has a lot of truth to it. The city has its own charm just like any other, and it might not be cool but yeah it has a heart! It feels alive and I enjoy moving around it, be it by buses or by autos. Yes, public transport is way better here. Oh and Delhi might not be cool, but it’s definitely ‘kool’ if you know what I mean. Coming to the end, one thing which remains the same is my sleep-cycle. I remain awake through most parts of the night and I sleep through most parts of the day. So yeah, familiarity in this aspect feels good. Strangely, I do not have the urge for midnight snacks anymore. I guess the sudden and easy availability of food is what has killed my midnight hunger now. Oh and I have a lot of things to buy and to do. Get my broadband repaired for one so that I can once again rule over the cyber realms. Then, I need to make another visit to the music shop; pay off my last debt, get myself a tuner, a harmonica and a carry bag. I need to arrange money for that somehow. And then I need to get the carpenter and get a table and shelf sorted out for myself since my room had been conveniently taken over by my brother. Somehow I’m not getting worked up over this. I just want some space in a corner for my own stuff. Somehow all those sketchbooks and stupid stickers and toys do not irritate me like before. I guess I’m really growing up. Haha, cheers to that!

Goodbye: Memories and Acknowledgements

Dear All

I’m writing this from home; I’m well fed, peaceful, remarkably sane and reasonably happy. The purpose of this letter? I’m really not sure, I guess it’s just an attempt at a proper goodbye and also to say a few things which I never bothered to or never wanted to. It all seems a bit strange. No random buggers popping into my room, no neighbouring rooms to pop into, no random conversations, no chilling sessions on the terrace and yeah no drugs, alcohol or even WiFi. Freedom levels have also gone down a few notches as expected, as I have to brave the freezing balcony every time I go for a nicotine hit. So yeah, things do feel a bit strange on my first night back at ‘home’.

But I guess it has to be like this, at least for some more days till the amnesic powers of time take over and the memories start to lose their overwhelming nature. Yeah, I think that would happen and it should too, lest I actually start regretting my decision. This of course is purely hypothetical, and won’t actually happen since I’m a man who holds no regrets about anything. I have been through shit and I have been through a lot, yet in retrospect all these experiences just seem to complete the jigsaw puzzle of my life and what I am today. Similarly, I now look back at the past one and half years and I realize it all falls into place in the puzzle called my life. And now I can fortunately look back at it all from a distant and objective view, which makes all the good memories seem even better and the bad ones far too insignificant. I can even manage to laugh at all those bad times and my foolishness at worrying over them.

So yeah, I’m glad it’s over and how things have turned out to be. I have emerged far wiser, smarter and more mature from what I was when I first walked into NLS, not to mention a bit cooler as well. I’m glad to have completed the various cycles. I believe I was a sociable guy for some part of my initial trimesters, before I retired from the social circles altogether. I confess that for some time during that period, I think I was insane, but then insanity just like a lot of other things, is relative. And this phase also taught me a lot of things, the pleasure of solitude and the satisfaction derived from sufficiency to name a couple. In the end, I’m glad to have left on a good note and regained a bit of my sociable nature.

The next cycle is the one which ruled over a major part of my life at law school, drugs and alcohol. Yes, I fell prey to mind alteration and how. I have been in conditions that most of you cannot ever imagine, while the rest of you would just be repulsed by the very thought of it. I tried everything I could get, and while people did their best to restrain me in my own interest, I didn’t bother. Whatever you might say, no one gets others into drugs, it’s your own choice or you are just plain dumb or wannabe. Anyway I have lost my fascination for these things by now and have no desire to continue in the same vein. I dislike alcohol and consider drugs as just drugs, nothing special, not anymore. They don’t run my life, I see them as just vessels of recreation and that too unnecessary ones. But this is now, and I should make it clear that I do not regret my association with them for a single moment since in the end to be honest I learnt far more from intoxication than what I learnt in classrooms.

I wish you all could get rid of your mind blocks and let go sometime since it might not occur to you, but these very mind blocks limit you as an entity in this world. I’m not trying to coax any of you into addiction or anything but all I plead to you is to think for yourself and to not form judgements on things you haven’t even tried, which sadly is the case with a lot of you out there. Now if I say drugs are not really necessary and not all that good, I can afford to; however you can never know unless you have tried. And if you take my word for it, I again pronounce you dumb! Having said all that and knowing that you folks would never actually study intoxication and pursue it with the kind of interest I did, in the end I just have a few of things to say and you can take my word on this, if you want of course. Alcohol sucks; it leaves you senseless and comes with far more troubles than it is actually worth. Pot is pointless, after a time that is. Chemicals are shit; do not ever get into them. Nicotine is just habit, up to you. All I would advocate to you, an objective and yet ‘clean’ person is a single Psilocybin experience. That’s it since after a point, even the magic becomes routine but yeah the first experience remains. The doors of perception do get cleared. So yeah, fuck everything else and pack your bags to Kodai now, oh and needless to say exercise caution!

Finally, the third major cycle was about my general state of mind. From a young and impressionable first year, I became a hardened out and self-confident bastard; the only thing that remained common was that I was still a first year. The cycle, you might ask? Well, I’m talking about the cycle of happiness. I was overjoyed when I first came here. The sudden increase in the magnitude of freedom and other shite. But then gradually, it declined till the time when I actually had suicidal thoughts on occasions. Thankfully, sanity prevailed in the end and I gradually became accustomed to it. Then of course, once I decided to leave the happiness scale never went down.

Which is why, I can easily say that my last trimester was the highlight of my law school life. Two months of total joblessness in a resourceful place with some great friends. Music, writing, art, study in my areas of interest and chilling my ass off; I did it all and on various levels. Oh and I slept a lot, junked out a lot and similar activities. Then came my biggest contribution to NLS as such, making magic commercially viable and easily accessible for its denizens. Strawberry Fields happened next and I got to play on that coveted stage. What followed were three amazing days. And then finally apart from everything else, my last week in law school. This was when I did some major thinking alongwith having a lot of fun. And thanks to my security deposit, I could actually manage to treat people who bothered to come. That was satisfying, I have realized over time that making people around you happy is sometimes quite rewarding. Anyway, I basically had the time of my life and I thank everyone who shared any of these experiences with me. Oh and I take this opportunity to thank the SDGM buggers as well. Somehow, they had always been good to me and co-operative as well. They could have busted my ass anytime they wanted, but they didn’t and that is enough for me to refute most of what people have to say against them.

And in the end, all I take back are some great experiences and fond memories. Which to me seem far more satisfying than a piece of paper declaring your academic worth of five years. But then, that’s just my take on it. Most of you won’t understand this and probably take this as loser talk coming from a junked out loon. I shall not blame you for that, one of the numerous things I learnt at law school; never judge anyone since they have their own reasons to think and do whatever they want. So all I would say is stand firm on your beliefs and if you really think money and stability are important, I guess you are at the right place. I wish all of you luck for your ‘law school’ life and really hope that you all take from this institution what you actually want, just like I did.

Now I shall be more specific hereon, I move on to my friends out there. And by friends I do not mean just the people whom I used to regularly hang out with. By ‘friends’ I mean all the people who think they knew me and who enjoyed my company, you know I’m talking about you. So yeah, if you think you are not one of them, you need not read any further. As I said I have become mature, I had also believed I had become dead to emotions and I assumed it to be a part and parcel of growing up and facing the world. But then, I’m relieved that I was wrong. I never thought I would actually miss you folks and NLS itself, but yeah that’s how it is, at least for now.

A lot of thoughts and emotions are attached to these words I write here, but as I realized over the last year, language is woefully limited. These words cannot hope to describe even a fraction of what I actually feel. And to you, my close friends all this would seem even more inadequate considering the intimate experiences we have shared together. I apologize for this, but then it’s not my fault, I’m trying my best. I wish I could adequately express the kind of gratitude and love I feel towards each of you. I wish I could reassure you about my mental well being and the immense relief I feel at leaving behind the rigorous life which I tried getting accustomed to before making the decision. But then like I said, language is quite limited and I’m not exactly a great wordsmith.

Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I wish I had a time machine. I wish I could go back and start it all over again. I could have finished off what I started, or I could have just changed a few things here and there. Or I could just replay the last trimester over and over again. But then I get myself back to reality and discard the idea altogether. Things went smoothly and just about perfect. If they weren’t better, I guess they just weren’t meant to. Now, I have a new life ahead of me. And in the end I believe putting myself through the torturous academic routine for five years was just not worth it, the main reason behind my decision to leave.

But yeah, apart from the academic parts I’m clear that I loved the college. And now from this unattached position I even feel I liked most of the people as well. Rest I was just indifferent to, just as they were to me. And in utmost honesty to myself I can proudly claim that I do not hold any grudges against anyone in law school. Well, a certain warden is an exception of course but apart from him, no one. Come to think of it, even that bugger had his role to play so that things fell into place the way they did eventually. But anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore. I shall now entail a new path, something which I actually might be interested in. Journalism, advertising, writing, music, even IAS like my Dad has been ranting about. I shall decide sometime, but not yet.

I try to recall my last week again, how things went smoothly one after the other and how everything fell into place. More specifically my last day at NLS. I woke up in the morning in a terrible state due to all the partying the night before, the last tango. And in that condition I tried to figure out the things that needed to be done. I figured there was still a lot, but reassured myself that everything would work out just fine, and thankfully it did. Oh and I even managed to take a bath before I took my last trip to the other worlds. Somehow this time it didn’t feel anything extra-ordinary since I was now too used to it. Who would have thought that 3-D dancing patterns on a blank wall would become boring some day? Even the enhanced sense of hearing didn’t interest me anymore, nor did Pink Floyd. But then I guess it was good and necessary to kill my fascination as a last nail in the coffin. Just like my somewhat sour experiences with alcohol and pot in the last week. Moreover, I now enjoyed the after-peak state when your mind opens up and gives you clarity of thought. And in those few hours I realized that I did not need all this anymore.

On a different note, shrooms on the last day just 3 hours before leaving was a bad idea, especially since I tend to get quite sentimental on that shit. Yeah, I ended up crying...a lot. Had to fish out my RayBans just for that. All the last minute goodbyes had taken a toll on my already battered brain and ego. I cried and I hugged people like I had never done before. Thankfully I didn’t run into some of my closest friends due to class hours or I would have probably broken down and tore up my ticket or something. After all the confusion and the last minute frenzy, it did end in a good way. Right at my favourite hangout at Nagarbhavi and with a few of my favourite people, and some other folks as well. I was still not in a state to actually make sense of it but it all seemed good. Muddled up, confused scenario and conversations, reassurances and the usual stuff. But it felt genuine, and it felt sincere. I was losing it again; I put my shades back on. A special mention to the free farewell coffee from my favourite shop which I mostly ended up spilling on my already dirty jeans. A few phone calls later, I was alone again. I could mull over it all now and that’s what I exactly did. And that’s when I decided to write this. I owed you folks a proper explanation and a proper goodbye which I couldn’t due to lack of time, inclination or just my condition.

Thanks to the usual Himalaya gang, if ever I needed a ‘big brother’ like character you folks were always there. Much respect for each of you. The few decent women in college whom I used to talk to, I thank you all for bugging the shit out of me for most of the times, but also for some good times in return. Like the Great Calvin says, “Girls are essentially dumb”. Just kidding, you know I am! You all are great, and that is why I bothered to drag my ass out of the boy’s hostel to talk to you folks. To my wonderful batch mates, thanks for tolerating my antics on various occasions and I hope that you folks keep the flame alive, and by that I mean ‘unity’ you dolts!

And finally to my inner circle of friends, a mere word of thanks is both insulting and unnecessary since I hope you folks already know what I want to say. I hope you buggers make it big and keep up the good times, and treat me to a grand welcome if I ever manage to come down anytime. And in case that does not happen, remember I’m always there loitering around the same old corridors in spirit. Apart from that feel free to pick up anything from my room which might be of use to any of you. There isn’t much but there is some stuff, the legendary ‘CY-BABA’ tee to name one. Oh and not to forget, respect the circle!

Love and Peace...

Ishan Marvel

PS: Oh and do not worry about me, I shall be just fine! Maybe better

PPS: I might not be as active anymore but like I say, “Facebook is always there!”

PPPS: Apart from “Keep in touch”, the PPS also implies that you folks should upload my pics if you have any. I would like that.

4PS: Sorry, I’m too lazy to write personalized letters, I hope this would do for now.

5PS: Language is limited anyway!

Magic Rant

Too much to do...Too many constraints...time, societal bullshit, family, friends...

Try and get rid of mind blocks, expel judgements altogether...open your mind to any and everything

Drugs are just MEANS and NOT the END!

Get hold of your addictions; do not let them rule you. Use them for pleasure and not vice-versa.

IT’S ALL IN THE HEAD!

It’s all in the fucking HEAD!

There is nothing called INSANITY...

Insanity is relative; it’s all in the HEAD!

Everything is shit!

IT’S ALL IN THE FUCKING HEAD!!!

NOTHING and NOONE matters apart from YOU

Everyone has their own reasons and rationales for everything they do or whatever...

IT DOESN’T MATTER!

It doesn’t fucking matter...

DRUGS SUCK...

No, they DON’T...I love drugs, well at least some of them. But then I have by now realized that they are just drugs and it’s all in the HEAD!

I DON’T KNOW

Fuck LETHARGY, build DETERMINATION...

NOTHING MATTERS!

High time for ACTION

DO SOMETHING...

But WHAT?

WHAT???

FOCUS...

Music...listening, acoustics, instruments, band...

Movies...documentaries, cinematography, monologues, drama...

Writing...journalism, fiction, non-fiction, books, stories, poetry...

Fuck Existentialism

Fuck Philosophy

Fuck EVERYTHING!

You just have an idle mind and no purpose, that’s all...and you don’t need one!

You are just another cog in the machine, a woefully vestigial one with no real survival issues...

You are just another confused, dysfunctional and insignificant middle class bastard in this shit hole of a country

But then INDIA is the best, it’s beautiful...just the motherfuckers running it are the ones who spoil it...and that goes for almost any place

CHANGE!

MOVE ON...GET ON WITH IT...LET GO

Do what YOU like and NOT what others expect of you or what others think is right...

Follow your fucking HEAD since it’s all in there!

Fuck HIGHER PURPOSE and all such tosh...FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Follow your interests...scam the rest!

PLAN of ACTION...

1. Get the band together...jam, have fun, make good music

2. Make movies...act, direct, theatre

3. Write a lot...scripts, plays, poems, articles, whatever

4. Read a lot...classics, comics, fiction, non-fiction, Psychology

5. Listen to good music and watch good movies

And at the same time, SCAM everything else...scam REAL LIFE!

SCAM IT!

Be courteous

Be politically correct

Be whatever

Please ALL...family, friends whatever

Get a fucking degree even though you know it doesn’t matter...get it for your parents if not anything else...you OWE them you ungrateful runt!

SCAM it, scam academics; scam college...doesn’t matter in the BIGGER PICTURE!

Study English

Study Psychology

Study History

Do whatever, even IAS...yes fucking IAS but don’t lose your TRUE SELF in such mindless and mundane pursuits

NEVER GIVE UP ON THE REAL MISSION!

The QUEST for true knowledge and not what the fucking SYSTEM or the pseudo asshole variety tells you

DO NOT BE A REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE

In fact do not be a rebel at all, why worry about things which do not concern you

Live life on your own terms, fuck everyone else...just don’t get into their faces, keep to yourself!

YOU ARE A SELFISH BASTARD and you know it!

YOU ARE NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING and YOU KNOW IT!

You can take any shit that might ever happen since your life is too fucking simple compared to the majority around you

You may be the best in your circle, but then you are just limiting yourself

IT’S A FUCKING HUGE WORLD with millions like you

DO NOT LET PEOPLE OR THINGS CONVINCE YOU

YOU ARE A FUCKING ADULT NOW!

Fuck everything, Fuck all!

Enjoy, derive pleasure out of everything you do

HEDONISM is the way of life, it fucking suits you to a tee!

WE ARE ALL CONFUSED BASTARDS...NO PURPOSE

NOTHING!!!

NOTHING!!!

Nothing matters, I AM THE BEST!!!

Sadly no one can comprehend this...everyone should think like this

Build the universe around you with yourself at the pinnacle and not someone who gazes from the sidelines

What would you be, just another prick or would you be SPECIAL?

Of course, you are fucking SPECIAL...a special dormant psycho nutcase?

Too many people in this competitive shithole of a world...SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!

But then, THEY DON’T MATTER...Fuck them and their foolish routines and values

I DO NOT CARE

It’s all in the head...self sufficiency, SATSIFACTION

SCAM!

Open your mind and discover its endless novelty and brilliance

You are too insignificant and you can’t do shit, so build your own world inside your head

YOU ARE THE FUCKING KING IN THERE

BUT NEVER LOSE TOUCH WITH REALITY

And once you have your KINGDOM in place move on...extend your EMPIRE to the real world...unleash it onto the unsuspecting and patronizing fools

Lives don’t matter, nothing matters...

All the so called greats were just fucking manipulators, fakes or just dicks!

Develop...Build...Move on from the simple inconsequential shite

Drugs, alcohol, womanizing, gambling and all other vices and forms of debauchery are just vessels of recreation...DO NOT LET THEM GRASP YOU, except for the moment at hand!

Am I going MAD???

Are YOU going MAD???

Doesn’t matter, MAD is just a label created by the so called sane ones

They cannot understand, idiotic presumptuous bastards that they are...not all though

FAMILY may come across as interfering and ignorant but then they are probably the only ones who actually give a shit about you so get your act straight and your priorities and opinions too

Hold your friends close but never get too attached to ANYONE since in the end all that remains is just YOU...

People come and go, just memories and experiences that stay with you. That and yourself

Over confidence and a bloated ego is fine, but not till the point it’s about to burst...

And TIME is special...makes you forget everything

EVERYTHING looks trivial in retrospect...I LOVE THAT

TIME is the greatest discovery and the greatest logic ever...

TIME IS GENIUS!!!